


Once Step Forward; Two Steps Back

by punchbaek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Doubt, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-05-11 07:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5618794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punchbaek/pseuds/punchbaek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>EXO's Kai doesn't have time for fluttery kisses and heart shaped lips. But Jongin wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! I hope you enjoy this short fiction :D

One step forward. Or two steps back.  
Where does Jongin go from here?

~

Time was frozen; everything was at a standstill. Neither moved, two pairs of eyes widened, engaged in a sort of staring contest. Neither could say who was more surprised. Their breaths mixed, coming out as white puffs in the winter’s air.

Kyungsoo pressed himself against the brick wall, his body rigid, two palms flat against the red bricks, feeling the texture through his gloves. He couldn’t see beyond the pools of brown that were so deep he was afraid he’d drown in them. Those eyes looked frightened, staring at him as if beckoning for an answer. He didn’t have one to give. With the blood rushing through his veins, he didn’t have time to think, to react. His mind was blank of thoughts, he could only feel: the cold that permeated through his gloves, the hot breath fanning his face, the scent of Jongin as it filled his nostril.

Jongin couldn’t move. He wanted to lower the hands pressed against the wall, on both sides of Kyungsoo’s head, trapping him to that very spot. He had always imagined this situation differently – and Kyungsoo had never been in any of them. Instead it had been a nice girl with whom he had known awhile and deduced that he liked her. In his situation, he knew what he was doing as he kissed her, as they confirmed their relationship. However, this was completely different. He didn’t know what he was doing and he wasn’t sure what he kind of a relationship he wanted with Kyungsoo – all he knew was that he might have just destroyed a friendship.

“I’m…” He couldn’t get the words out. He wasn’t sorry. He didn’t want to take the kiss back. Oh God, what was wrong with him?

“It’s getting cold,” Kyungsoo said, leaning away from the wall and towards him, forcing Jongin to move back, too. “We should go inside.”

“Kyungsoo.”

“Just drop it, please.”

“Kyungsoo, wait!”

But the shorter male wasn’t slowing down, didn’t turn around at his call and in that moment Jongin knew that he had just lost his best friend.


	2. Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can we sound the alarm both so defiant and  
> Don't know where to start  
> I keep colliding with the one I, one I love

 

The kiss had been eighteen hours, thirty two minutes and five seconds ago. Jongin had spent the night in M’s dorm to avoid Kyungsoo. But he knows he can’t run forever, so here he is, ears pressed against the door of his own bedroom, listening to the sound of Kyungsoo’s movie playing through the speakers.

Jongin had never felt so apprehensive to enter his own room before – couldn’t remember the last time he was nervous when it came to Kyungsoo. Their relationship is an easy one, forged by close proximity and mutual admiration. Kyungsoo is easy to like with his full eyes, crinkled smiles and skittish nerves; but there's more to the other boy than what was captured with DSLR cameras and displayed through pixelated dots on computer screens. Shy uncertainty and curiosity in those wide orbs whenever Jongin happened to catch his eyes; ragged breaths when Jongin happened to brush against soft skin by accident (or on purpose). And really, hadn’t that been the reason for the kiss? It was the way Kyungsoo had looked at him, quiet and contemplative, eyes that lingered on Jongin’s lips longer than they should have.

It was obvious in the way Kyungsoo would talk to Jongin’s shoes instead whenever they had to interact in close proximity. Most of the time it wasn’t a problem because their group was so large and everyone generally talked over everyone else; their voices overlapped at such a loud volume that they drowned out all of Jongin’s thoughts.

But at night, when it was just him and Kyungsoo, there was a heavy silence between them. These days, instead of focusing on the low murmured conversations, Kyungsoo’s hesitant smiles and slow recallings of what happened throughout the day; Jongin finds himself staring at the older boy’s face as his own mind screamed at him to do something – anything. There was a slow ache whenever Kyungsoo’s lips stretched slowly into his signature heart-shaped smile.

So the kiss had really been Kyungsoo’s fault. But Jongin was still the one who had to apologize.

“You okay there?” Baekhyun asks, head poking out of his shared bedroom with Chanyeol.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?” The older male tries again, “You’re sort of glaring holes into your door.”

“I’m fine,” Jongin grits out because the last thing he needs is for Baekhyun to tell Joonmyun, who would no doubt make Jongin spill out his problems at their family meeting for everyone to solve. Jongin doesn’t think this is something that can be resolved through one of Joonmyun’s meetings. Sehun would no doubt laugh at him, which would result in Jongin committing a homicide, which would lead to a raise in Joonmyun’s blood pressure and further delay their comeback.

 

Slowly, he peeks his head into the room; Kyungsoo squints at him, “Jongin?”

“Hi hyung,” He says slowly, opening the door just enough to slip inside. He takes slow steps toward Kyungsoo’s bed.

“Where have you been?”

“With Luhan hyung.”

Kyungsoo nods, “If you’re hungry, we have some left overs in the fridge.”

“I…think we need to talk.”

But the older boy is already putting his headphones on, “No. We don’t.”

Jongin goes back to his own bed with a heavy sigh. But he doesn’t push it because he doesn’t know what to say anyways.

 

Joonmyun notices two days later anyways; he pulls Jongin aside to ask if they needed a group meeting.

“Just leave it alone, hyung, I’m working on it,” Jongin sighs, chest still heaving from dance practice.

“Okay but you better make it fast. Fans are starting to think Kaisoo broke up,” Joonmyun’s voice is light and teasing; but Jongin can’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

“What’s wrong?” Kris asks one day as they walk to get food with the rest of the members. “I know something is wrong.”

“I did something stupid,” Jongin says, kicking at little pebbles as he walks.

Kris nods but he doesn’t push it.

“Well…if you want to talk,” Kris offers after a lapse of silence.

Jongin grins, “I know. I know I can always talk to you or Suho hyung or Chanyeol or Sehun…blah, blah. I will.”

Kris chuckles, “The benefit of being one of twelve.”

“Nothing’s personal.”

“None whatsoever.”

 


	3. Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You turn your back on me  
> We're all alone, why is this happening

Jongin doesn’t have time for shy, fluttery first love’s; for intimate gestures that could be read into meaning something more. His time is spent in the practice room, committing dance steps into muscle memories. Dating has always been something in the back burner – sure he will find a nice girl someday, and sure he might get married one day – but that was only the extent of his thoughts on the subject. Because he is young and because he has more important things to fill his mind and time.

Kyungsoo entering the picture shouldn’t really affect Jongin’s life at all.

They met through Chanyeol, who introduced Kyungsoo with a wide smile and some long winded information about the shorter male’s background. Jongin took in Kyungsoo’s wide eyes and didn’t miss the way he had shied away from the giant’s friendly gesture. In his head he thought Kyungsoo wouldn’t last past a week.

He didn’t have time for a timid, soft-spoken mouse.

“Is he gonna be a problem?” Was all Jongin wanted to know when it was finalized that they would be in EXO K together.

Chanyeol had shrugged, “Why don’t you hear him sing?”

And could sing he did, except it didn’t do them any good if Kyungsoo was too afraid to actually sing out loud.

“He’s a disaster,” Jongin sighed, frustrated, “He look like he is going to have an aneurysm from stress or something.”

“So kind,” Sehun had laughed, lazily rolling his shoulder instead of actually stretching.

 

The first time Kyungsoo made a mistake on a broadcast, Jongin expected to be angry, instead he found himself smiling. There has always been something endearing about Kyungsoo. Not cute – never cute – that is Baekhyun with his puppy-esque qualities. But Kyungsoo is slow smiles, contemplative statements made quietly as if he doesn’t really want to be heard, sharp comments when he thinks no one is listening, and feisty violence that is so unexpected it makes Jongin laugh.

And Kyungsoo does change everything.

For the first time, Jongin thinks about useless things like love. But this time it’s not something “eventually with some girl” – this time it’s panic and clumsy words that he can’t voice out loud. He isn’t even sure if this is what love is or if this is something temporary, bred by close proximity and familiarity.

 

It’s Sehun – it’s always Sehun – who corners Jongin after practice one day and, “Dude, what’s up? Did you see Kyungsoo hyung’s sex tape or something?”

Jongin spits out his water, “What?”

“Well we’ve all seen each other naked.”

“So that’s your natural progression?”

Sehun shrugs, “Kris hyung says there are some pretty disturbing things online.”

“Please do not hang out with Kris,” Joonmyun says from a few feet away.

“I’m just saying – you guys have been weird,” Sehun chooses to ignore their leader – as he always does when it doesn’t really matter.

“I…did something stupid.”

Jongin sees Joonmyun perks up, attentively listening and all of a sudden he wants to crawl into a hole and die. But he has to tell someone and he needs some advice because Kyungsoo doesn’t even want to discuss what had happened between them despite his numerous attempts. And maybe it is time to stop keeping this to himself.

“This stays amongst us – as in three of us – I don’t want this to be a group thing.” Once Sehun and Joonmyun nods their understanding, he takes a deep breath. “I kissed him.”

“Who?” Sehun blurts out before he quickly dismisses it with frantic arm movements, “Oh wait. I know who. Wait what?”

“Last week. Now he won’t talk to me and I mean…if we could just -” Jongin says, voice growing quieter, “I just…I mean.”

“He’s probably just scared,” Sehun offers, one of his rare helpful moments. “I mean he had to see those big lips up close and all.” And there it goes.

Jongin moves to kick their magnae, but Joonmyun steps in between them, “Guys! Stop. Jongin, tomorrow we are all going to leave you two alone. Make him talk.”

“Use protection,” Sehun says before dashing away.

“I know where you live!” Jongin calls after him the same time Joonmyun says, “I told you to stop hanging out with Kris!”

 

Kyungsoo is stubborn, which is a quality Jongin admires, when that stubbornness isn’t preventing him from having a heart to heart. So somehow, Jongin finds himself locked out of their bedroom as Kyungsoo, once again, refuses to listen.

“Hyung, please, we have to fix it.” There’s no answer. “For the fans, you know. And the managers are starting to talk. And Joonmyun hyung is starting to meddle.”

Still, nothing.

“I don’t know why I did that,” Jongin sighs. “I’m sorry if you hated it. But if we can just…”

“Why did you do it?” He perks up at the quiet question. Kyungsoo must be right near the door on the other side.

“I – “ Why. Why did he do it. Why did he kiss Kyungsoo. “I don’t know. I just.” Followed my heart.

“This is why we can’t talk,” Kyungsoo answers after a few beats of silence. “If you can’t even give me a reason, what’s there to talk about?”

 

There are a lot of reasons: Kyungsoo’s soft lips, Kyungsoo’s fluffy hair dusted with snow, Kyungsoo’s lashes which frames those eyes so nicely, Kyungsoo’s soft body – which he hates – but Jongin loves. It was a split second decision, one moment he was reaching over to tousle Kyungsoo’s hair and the next he found himself trapping the older male to the brick wall. And then it was over. Lips upon lips, nervous breathing; it started – excuses, guilt, confusion – all came rushing in so fast Jongin didn’t know how to voice them.

It is a lot of things. Company policy, family members, fans, their group members; his responsibility to them as an artist, as a son, as an idol, as a fellow band member – they keep the flood of feelings at bay. Jongin would rather drown in his feelings than drag other people with them. He can’t shackle the rest of EXO to his fate, can’t let them suffer because he had failed to prioritize.

Because Kai – the main dancer of the up and coming new idol group, EXO – has no room in his life for soft lips and hushed whispers in the dark; he doesn’t need soothing touches from small hands and heart-shape smiles he has long committed to memory.

But Jongin wants.


	4. Acceptance

Kyungsoo knows something is up when Zitao sidles up to him. He spares EXO-M’s youngest member a glance before going back to his stretching. Tao is studying him quietly, mouth set in a thin line. Then, slowly, he gets up and walks away only to come back a few minutes later.

“I don’t like this,” Tao says.

“Like what?” Kyungsoo stands up and bounces on the balls of his feet, warming up for yet another dance practice.

“You and Jongin avoiding each other.”

Kyungsoo wants to correct Tao – say that Jongin is not avoiding him; in fact, Jongin has been pestering him nonstop to talk, but Kyungsoo just doesn’t want to. He knows what Jongin is going to say. Kyungsoo doesn’t want an apology and he doesn’t want Jongin to take the kiss back. It had been a mutual decision because Kyungsoo could have easily pushed the younger boy away, but he didn’t. He knows Jongin is regretting it, but Kyungsoo doesn’t. He wouldn’t take it back for anything in the world.

It was bound to happen. This tension between them has been going on since the day they first met. It starts with Kyungsoo trying to prove himself, trying to prove that he belongs. He knows he doesn’t have the looks or the dance skills to compete with some of their model-like members, but Kyungsoo knows he has the singing abilities to stand out.

Jongin didn’t like him from the start and it was so obvious. The younger boy was never cruel but he had looked at Kyungsoo like he knew that Kyungsoo would mess up. His compliments were measured and carefully dispensed like they were worth their weight in gold.

Then somewhere along the way, something changed. Trepidation turned into something more. It didn’t happen with a bang; it crept up quietly, vines wrapped around Kyungsoo’s heart and took roots until it was too late.

And it was too late.

“We are going to be fine,” Kyungsoo assures Tao. It’s hard to believe they are the same age. Zitao acts so much younger than Kyungsoo. Innocence makes him a bit more childish, his smile unguarded and his actions less calculated.

“But you will tell me? If it’s bad?” Tao persists in his accented Korean.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “I’ll tell you if it’s bad.”

Zitao grins and gives him a thumbs up. Finally he leaves Kyungsoo alone to resume his warm up.

 

Jongin is nothing if not persistent. Kyungsoo finds himself alone together with Jongin again after practice is over. He doesn’t even know where the rest of the members are at the moment. They still have to run through everything again before they can go home. Kyungsoo is tired and he is thankful the wall is there to hold him up. He contemplates just sliding down fully onto the floor and give up sitting completely.

“Hyung.”

It’s the way that Jongin approaches him: slow and careful, like he doesn’t want to spook Kyungsoo. Jongin sits down beside him, back resting against the same wall, shoulder touching Kyungsoo’s own smaller one. It’s the way Jongin takes his hand and laces their fingers together. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to pull away when it’s just the two of them. It’s easy to remind himself that they are in public surrounded by a sea of DSLR cameras, or that they are being watched by the company’s suits, or that they are around other members who knows them enough to understand every touch is just a little something. But there is no one else around now.

It’s a little too late.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to pull away. And he doesn’t know how to take his heart back.

“I…” Kyungsoo breathes in deeply. “I don’t want you to apologize. I don’t want to hear that our kiss is a mistake because it’s not. It’s not to me.”

“We can’t,” Jongin says firmly, both hands gripping onto Kyungsoo’s fingers just a bit too tightly. “You know that.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo can’t help the quiver that runs through his voice. “I know.”

“But we can’t let this come between us,” Jongin’s eyebrows knit together. “I don’t want anything between us to change.”

How could it not? Kyungsoo wants to say. He wants to grab Jongin by the collar and shake him, out of pure frustration. Why is it so hard? “Sure. Nothing is going to change, Jongin-ah,” he says instead.

Kyungsoo pulls his hand away from Jongin’s and begins picking up the pieces of his heart.

 

On the way back to the dorms, Chanyeol lends Kyungsoo his shoulder. Chanyeol is a lot more intuitive than he lets on. There is a reason why he and Baekhyun are the team’s mood makers, they can sense when a member is not in the best mood. Unlike Baekhyun, though, Chanyeol knows when words aren’t needed.

He doesn’t ask, simply slouches down in his seat to make it more comfortable for Kyungsoo. From his peripheral, he sees the way Luhan looks at him. Kyungsoo closes his eyes because Luhan sees too much.

 

There is no practice the next day, just some photoshoot for some advertisement. Kyungsoo is shuffled into the van with the rest of his bandmates and this time he doesn’t ignore Baekhyun’s jokes. He tries to laugh a little more, lips forming random words whenever the members are near enough to make small talk. He can’t really recall what he’s said, but he thinks it’s enough for the members to stop worrying. Luhan has stopped looking at him like Kyungsoo’s a soap bubble that’s going to float away – or worse, pop.

Kyungsoo sits through hair and make-up with a resigned expression. He doesn’t really like the process but he knows it’s necessary, to smooth out the blemishes and blur the imperfections. The concept for these pictures is simple: look happy. Kyungsoo isn’t sure if he can come across as genuine, so he practices in the mirror just in case.

He sits still and let the stylists do their magic to transform him from little Do Kyungsoo into EXO’s D.O. The world seems to be a bit easier as D.O. He can smile a little easier at Jongin, play around a bit more with Chanyeol and smile at the camera like he means it. And when they ask him to wrap his arm around Jongin’s waist, D.O doesn’t falter.

And then it’s over. Equipment is packed away into black nylon bags, and D.O is stripped away layer by layer. The make-up dissolves away along with his self-confidence and Kyungsoo is left too naked. All of the sudden he doesn’t know what to say when Jongin steps a bit closer, hand outstretched to offer him a water bottle.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo mutters, eyes studying his own shoes.

“It was fun today,” Jongin says, guzzling down his own water. “I don’t remember ever smiling so much. My cheeks hurt.”

“Me either.”

“You looked good today.”

Kyungsoo counts to five before he answers, “Hm.”

“You have a great smile, hyung.” Jongin whispers right next to Kyungsoo’s ear. “I always think about it before I fall asleep.” This time it’s Jongin who pulls away. He straightens himself before Kyungsoo has time to react.

Kyungsoo wishes Jongin wouldn’t say things like that because he isn’t sure if he wants to kiss the younger male or punch his face in.

“What is this?” He gestures between them when Jongin lifts an eyebrow. Kyungsoo narrows his eyes, “What are you doing?”

Jongin looks taken back, “I…was just complimenting you.”

“Well, don’t.” Kyungsoo bites out. “Don’t say things like this. Don’t kiss me like you want something more…and then,” he tries, really tries to keep his voice down, “and then just apologize the next day because you’re sorry. You don’t get to start things and then regret they happen between us. Either finish what you’ve started or don’t bother.”

“Hyung, I was just - ”

“No. It just hurts more this way.”

Jongin nods, “Right. I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry. Never has Kyungsoo been more offended by just two words

 

It was always Jongin who initiated it. The first time Jongin looked at him – really looked at him – beyond just another face of EXO, Kyungsoo felt those eyes burn into his skin. He squirmed uncomfortably onstage and ended up introducing their song incorrectly. He thought Jongin would be mad because Kim Jongin strives for perfection, but offstage, the younger male just ruffled his hair and said, “You’re cute.”

Kyungsoo felt more and more flustered every time those eyes were on him. And then the touches began, simple brushes of the hand at first until it became something a bit more. The lingering touches were like hidden promises, just between them.

But even if the feelings are there, Kyungsoo knows Jongin will never act on them. To Jongin, Kyungsoo is a love passing through, a fleeting thought, just a phase in his teens. To Jongin, dancing is life, the stage is his home and he will not let anything jeopardize that.

And even though Kyungsoo comes to realize all of this a bit too late, he can’t help himself because love doesn’t follow logic and carefully laid out plans. Love doesn’t take career and public condemnation into account. At least not Kyungsoo’s love. He doesn’t know how to compartmentalize his heart like Jongin. It’s just there and it’s real – and Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do with it.


	5. Chapter 5

It’s like lighting – that bright and intense heat that burns away all the doubts in the back of his mind. The answer is so clear now that the light flashes, illuminating the shadows in the depth of his subconscious. It has to be Jongin, no one else will do. For all of his life, it will be Jongin.

For all the times he felt he had to prove himself, he only did it so Jongin would notice him, so Jongin wouldn’t dismiss him as another face. And now that he is here, he doesn’t know how to stop it all. Kyungsoo knows this is a train wreck; how many choices did they have? Did they have one at all? Would he give up his dream, his hard-work for Jongin? No. He knows he wouldn’t – Jongin wouldn’t ask that of him, either.

And if Kyungsoo were to give up so easily on his dreams, he wouldn’t be of any worth to anyone, himself included.

So what now? What then?

What to do?

“Sometimes…” Baekhyun says slowly, “What seems like the right choice isn’t the best choice.”

Kyungsoo understands. They are so right together he wants to shake Jongin because how can Jongin not see? Kyungsoo knows it every time their skin touch, every time Jongin whispers into his ears, he feels his heart trying to explode out of his chest so it could be closer to Jongin’s own. How can Jongin not know, not see, not feel this frantic need to be illogical?

But Kyungsoo understands. They can’t survive on love alone; they can’t throw everything into a fire and walk away hand in hand. It just doesn’t make sense.

Nothing makes sense.

Not even his own mind. Kyungsoo isn’t this person, has never been this person.

 

.

 

“You know,” Chanyeol says, voiced pitched so lowly it’s barely audible. “You’ve known all along.”

Jongin doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. The truth is so loud there’s no room left for words.

“Stop hurting him, Jongin ah.”

“How?” Jongin asks. Face so young, voice imploring. How.

“Keep your distance.”

 

.

 

It’s amazing how small they are in the grand scheme of life. It’s amazing how unimportant, trifling and petty they are as humans. Kyungsoo cries himself to sleep and wakes up expecting a downpour like one of those K-dramas. He expects the sky to open up and cry with him, for him. But, nothing. The sun shines and somewhere in the distance, he hears cars honking as people try to commute in the midst of Seoul’s traffic.

Life goes on. Kyungsoo hangs on because he knows life goes on – for everyone.

It’s easier when they promote as twelve. Kyungsoo gets lost amongst the members. He becomes just another face in EXO. He uses Chanyeol and Kris as his own personal shields. He can’t really see past them, not that he wants to. He feels safe when he stands with them, his own personal wall.

Chanyeol is always smiling, but Kyungsoo knows better. Sometimes the other’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes and when Kyungsoo looks up, he sees worry instead of cheer. Kris’ smiles are more genuine and so Kyungsoo spends the majority of his time asking M’s leader about random English words. He turns his back on Chanyeol eventually because he doesn’t want his own hurt mirror back at him.

 

.

 

“Chanyeol gives some good advice,” Jongin breaks down his barriers eventually (it was silly of Kyungsoo to think Chanyeol and Kris would stand by him forever).

Kyungsoo hums, not really understanding but he feels like he knows enough.

“I listened,” The younger continues. “I left you alone.”

Jongin turns to Kyungsoo, hands firm on Kyungsoo’s shoulders, “You said not to start what I can’t finish, but I don’t know where this will lead. I don’t even know what finish would mean. I just know that I miss you and I can’t imagine going on like this. I can’t promise that we will ever have a finish…or an ending…or…I just, I just need you with me.”

It’s always Jongin who starts it.

 

.

 

And if later they lay too close on Kyungsoo’s bed, if kisses linger a little too long, if hands trail too close to dangerous grounds, if Kyungsoo’s voice pitched low and unfamiliar…

Even if and even so, Kyungsoo won’t say it. Won’t hope for more.

Even if it feels so right, even so…he knows it’d be foolish to ask for more.

 

.

 

Kyungsoo peeks with one eye. He tells himself life will go on, even if he wakes up alone, even if Jongin is long gone and there is a cold imprint where the body used to be, he won’t hope.

Even so, he breathes a sigh of relief to realize he’s not alone. Jongin is sitting at the edge of the bed, eyes crinkling as he smiles.

“Good morning.”

Somewhere in the distance, cars honk as they navigate through traffic. The sun shines today as well. But this time, Kyungsoo doesn’t feel a bitter resentment towards the warm sunrays.

“Good morning,” He smiles back, hands reaching out for Jongin.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish,” Jongin warns and laughs when Kyungsoo punches him in the gut.

“Stay a bit longer.”

“Can’t. Dance practice,” Jongin sighs. “I’ll see you later, meet me on the roof after your vocal practice. Please come alone, without your twin towers bodyguards.”

“Killjoy.”

“Gotta dance to survive.”

 

.

 

It’s nothing spectacular. A blanket on the ground and some stolen sandwiches from the company’s cafeteria but Kyungsoo laughs.

“If I had known, I would have cooked lunch.”

Jongin shushes him, “Stop trying to steal my event. Sit down.”

“Jongin, you’re…ridiculous.”

“I feel crazy,” Jongin admits. “But when Chanyeol told me to stay away, I just couldn’t. It wasn’t a challenge and I didn’t take it personally – I knew he made sense, but I just couldn’t. Ever since I kissed you, things started spiraling. But I really don’t want to stay away.”

“I want this.” Kyungsoo says honestly. “You know I want this. It’s okay for you to have doubts, we will go slow. I’ll wait.”

“I don’t know how to…” love you.

“I don’t either.”

“What now?”

Kyungsoo shrugs, “Now we eat. Life goes on, Jongin. It’s okay to take it one day at a time.”

**Author's Note:**

> LJ: jinktama | AFF: punchbaek


End file.
